hey ho the winds that blow the moon's as cold as the settling snow

at the sweet and nasty burlesque house on 11th st. a woman, topless with tasseled pasties, grinned and took advantage of the fleshy softness of her entirely practical yet decorative mammary glands and whirled and twirled them with astonishing speed, sometimes one way, sometimes the other, and, met first with gasping disbelief, rolled one clockwise and the other counter.

mah gawd!

and when former roomate jeff tackled me on the bed in our studio sublet in chelsea, his grunts and hands caused me to doubt, yet again, his firm belief in his heterosexuality. we took a long walk in central park and watched a co-ed, multiracial, and variably aged game of touch football which was perfectly new york and perfectly 21st century, i thought. it was a beautiful autumn day, tarnished only by the fact that he still owes me six hundred dollars from my security deposit.

i ended up needing to piss and wandering off to find privacy in the woods, only to finish up and realize that some old man was watching me. quitting this idyllic scenery made that much more beautiful by intense relief, we ran off, but the man followed for quite a while. how perfectly new york and perfectly 21st century, i thought.

in brooklyn i saw a bunch of hassids dancing around with the torah singing "ya ya yaya ya ya, ya, yaya ya ya, yaaaa". then one said through his beard and between his peyos"you wanna drag, man?" holding up a nearly spent joint. i started dancing with them doing the ya ya yas even though sarah, who's actually jewish (and i'm not! not even circumcised) held back. but i think the women are not allowed to dance anyway. in fact, when we went up inside the chabad house and drank glass after glass of whiskey with the jews (who were sloshed) all of the women and their 5 kids had to stay behind a screen. i wore a yamalka.

to top it off we ended the night at a kick ass bar called zebulon where they have awesome music every night of the week, and the band (instrumentation: electric guitar, drums, bari sax, tenor sax, and rotary-valve trumpet) thumped out rhythms and wails in the holy language. the singer sang in hebrew, which was an-jew-ellic (get it?). we talked to him afterwards, accidentally interrupting a drug deal in which he was buying a bunch of coke, and he told us his parents are cantors, which is why he felt the need to use hebrew in his music. he was a very nice guy.

this is a weird fucking city.