but this saturday, i am.
i thought i should write and tell you all about how i went on two (yes, TWO) dates last week and how that is funny because it is: a) so not me, and b) so new york.
the first one was with a friend of a friend, and it was sort of lame (i hope he doesn't find this blog and read about himself). i mean, he was nice, but there we were, discussing nietzsche and our theses over some beers, and you all, of all people, would have thought that that would be perfect! but it wasn't. alas. theses and beers are perhaps no fun unless they involve all of you. that is the only explanation i can possibly think of. that or he just wasn't very funny.
the second one was with a dude i met on an online dating site. now i know what you're thinking. online dating?? jil?! but i ASSURE you, said site was joined by my roommate and i as a joke. we thought it would be funny. and it was...until i started getting messages from dudes. then it was just weird, and made me feel like i was one of those people who is actively looking for love or a boyfriend, whereas my style is really more to just sit around and occasionally complain about the fact that i have neither of those things in my life, while refusing to take any action about it. so anyway, i went on date with said boy, and it was pretty fun. he told me a funny story about how a midget sent his sister a message on match.com. i laughed. that's always a good sign. we'll see; we're going to go to the harlem tea room sometime this week for date #2.
but i feel the need to assure you all that despite these things (dates) that would make me seem like a real person, i am not. not yet. so please don't judge me the way we're not judging elsie for using whitening strips, although elsie i should tell you, my teeth are quite yellow and i'm quite proud of it. we could always start a support group for each other.
yesterday, a co-worker told me an incredible story about a special ed 6th grader in her mom's class in michigan somewhere (battle creek i think) who actually literally NOT metaphorically stole a penguin from an aquarium and put it in his backpack. and they didn't realize until they were riding back to school on the bus, and they heard some strange noises, and they realized that this kid had a penguin. in his backpack. they of course turned around and brought it back to the aquarium, but the aquarium didn't believe them, that a 6th grader had been able to steal a penguin from THEIR aquarium, but he had.
happy weekend.
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3 comments:
you should probably screen this guy really well. I suggest bringing him two glasses of tea, one poisoned and the other one also poisoned. Keep asking him about his health coverage, and then winking. Then, if he detects the poison on time or if his health coverage is good enough, I say get married.
Jilllllian with a lot of l's. Can we hear about your second date? If my teeth are still yellow after next week, I would like to join your support group. Or is that kind of not proud enough? It's all or nothing?
i love this post because i can just hear you telling us these stories around a cup of coffee or a beer. and let me just say that this whole after college dating thing is beyond ... me
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