jeSUSSSS! it's almost my BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! holy canoli. I'll be 24 years young.
you know when you're watching tv and it seems really loud but you can't make out out what the characters are saying? that's like what i feel EVERYDAY. turn it up so it HURTS. RANDOMLY CAPITALIZE SHIT. I have to YELLLLLLLLLL. be causs e somtimees i can't speakl or hear clearly.
b'doo
b'doo
b'doo bip
b'doo bpi doowop-a-ting ting stop.
i wish i could randomly capitalize ON shit. "thank you for walking on 3rd avenue, sir. that will be 20 bucks." i'd make a fortune. you know how many people walk on that avenue? a LOT. more than i could EASILY COUNT. I would have to outsource and bring in illegal immigrants for cheap foreign labor just to stay on top of things. i would be livin the AMERICAN DREAM. i would be livin LA VIDA LOCA. man.
i really want some pancakes. my supervisor is out of town until tuesday. that means until then, i can go out for lunch and still get paid, just like if i were on salary. as if i were a real employee of this mighty institution, a real human being. so I CAN HAVE MY PANCAKES AND EAT THEM TOO.
everyone is wearing a tie today but me. the reason is they are all going to the company christmas party, held at some lounge on 34th street with free alcohol and dancing girls (at least i assume that the girls will start dancing with the free alcohol, especially my busty dominican friend). needless to say i was not invited, being a temp, but later my boss said i should go. said "'twill be a blast". but i forgot my tie. and the lounge won't let me in without one. bollocks
but anyway i have tickets to the NUTCRACKER tonight with Sarah. Promises to be a lovely evening. after that we are going to a show where our japanese friend yoichiro's band is playing.
i'll be the guy wearing a suit, sans necktie.
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3 comments:
how eighties of you.
"Randomly capitalize on shit" is also so funny. You are all so funny.
I saw The Nutcracker today with some third graders. It was amazing. The place had those tiny screens on the backs of seats to tell you what is going on, and Keli (who was sitting next to me) kept lunging forward and gasping with delight. And the kids called the "intermission" the "bathroom break."
Hey, Ben, HAPPY BIRTHDAY (a little late). I hope it was really good.
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