to my friends who i so irresponsibly, egregiously, and irrationally left in the metaphorical dust of cyberspace, i address these words:

i'm so sorry. take me back? please?

and also these:
i miss anton he hasn't responded to my email that i sent a long time ago so i suppose i should send him another one i plan to visit ann arbor in the spring i hope i will see him then since he is probably the closest thing i have to a hero and who doesn't like to get a beer with her hero also chris and pan pan i hope i can see you then i am generally completely and utterly envious of all of you who got to spirit away up north together because oh how i long to see lake michigan the lady lake love of my life (these are my friends and i am shamelessly plugging their great great song http://www.myspace.com/redarrowhighwaymusic) and to elsie i would say that if they don't read tolstoy and wilde what do they read? and how do they understand it any of it? and if the people in the comparative literature phd program are not reading tolstoy and wilde then mayhaps the world really is in bad shape elsie what do they say and what do they talk about chris are the grad students at UM as aloof as elsie's and also i think that i will not be cut out for grad school when i go there one day for godknowswhatforidon'tknowwhat and also just to point out that i am famous because i wrote this (http://www.villagevoice.com/art/0744,steinhauer,78171,13.html) i hope it is ok to do things like that to talk about myself but let's not talk too much about me not too too much ben are you in new york now still maybe remember when we had lunch that time that was fun by the fountain and again by the fake waterfall--well real i suppose but fake because it isn't natural but i suppose if i called everything that wasn't natural fake i'd get meself into some trouble--we were so corporate then and sadly i still am. but i don't dress it (or act it), i promise. we're better than all that somehow--i know it.